Category: Where Poppies Bloom

RTW: First Smooches

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Road Trip Wednesday is a ‘Blog Carnival,’ where YA Highway’s contributors post a weekly writing- or reading-related question that begs to be answered. In the comments, you can hop from destination to destination and get everybody’s unique take on the topic.

This Week’s Topic: Compare your first kiss with your favorite characters’ first kiss…

Eek… I’m sort of sad to admit that I can’t even remember the name of the first boy I kissed. I do remember the experience though, and the sentiment behind it, and it was quite similar to the first kiss of Callie and Tucker from my story Where Poppies Bloom:

            He leans in, drawing me closer with a gentle hand on the back of my neck. “I’m gonna see you tomorrow morning, right?”

            I shrug. “If you’re lucky.”

            He drifts closer, his mouth curling into a lopsided smile. “Oh, that’s how it is?”

            I’m about to reply when he cuts me off with the press of his mouth against mine. It’s tantalizingly drawn out, and it comes with the mind-blowing, Holy hell! realization that Tucker Morgan is kissing me. I let him lead, his mouth moving slow, feather light and full of restraint, teasing me until I’m almost bursting with the untapped energy between us. When he pulls away, I’m breathless.

Yeah, mine was sort of like that, what with the tentativeness and nervous energy. Now that I really think about it, every kiss I’ve ever written shares something with one of the stand-out kisses I’ve had (mostly with my husband… love ya, babe! :)). Funny how my real life experiences find their way into my writing, often without me being conscious of it.

 What about you? How does your first kiss compare to that of your characters’ or your favorite characters’?

SHOW ME THE VOICE Entry…

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Today I’m posting my entry for Brenda Drake’s Show Me the Voice blogfest/contest. For more information (rules, prizes, etc…), check out my previous post, or visit Brenda’s site.

Here are the first 250 words from Where Poppies Bloom. I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a moment to critique it honestly in the comments after you read. 🙂 

TITLE: Where Poppies Bloom
GENRE: Contemporary Ghost Story, YA

            I never used to be the type of girl who hotboxes her bathroom.       

            Sitting perched on the countertop next to my sink, I slip a joint between my lips and lose myself in a haze of pungent smoke that distorts the flower patterns dancing across my shower curtain. My bare feet bounce against the cabinet below, drumming out a staccato beat. I zone in, a microscope focused crisp and clear, absorbing the irregular thudding until it permeates through flesh and muscle and organs, vibrating right into my bones.

            Joint to lips. Deep, deep inhale. Hold the smoke until my chest sizzles. Exhale.

             Smoking is a solitary thing for me. Something I started doing six months ago, the first time grief clenched my chest, squeezing air from my lungs the same way one might wring out a wet rag. Trapping blood in the chambers of my heart until I’m certain they’ll explode. Stinging my eyes with hot, salty tears, telltale tracks racing down my cheeks. It’s during these times, when the hurt becomes too much to bear, that I steal a moment to lock myself away in my bathroom. Only then can I truly breathe.

            The irony doesn’t escape me­­—polluting my lungs with illegal herbal smoke shouldn’t comfort me the way, say, a warm hug used to. But the smoke—the simple, methodical act of smoking—kneads otherwise suffocating thoughts from my brain and calms me like nothing else.    

            I’m drifting today—more so than usual. A wisp of cotton caught in an unpredictable summer breeze.
                      

Show Me the Voice!

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Brenda Drake is hosting a blogfest/contest, and Natalie Fisher of The Bradford Literary Agency has agreed to judge the finalists. How cool is that?! Here’s how it works:

On March 20 and 21 (tomorrow!), post the first 250 words of your finished manuscript (any genre) on your blog to get critiques from your followers and then hop around to the other participants’ sites and give critiques. Polish those 250 words and email them to brenleedrake@gmail.com with CONTEST in the subject line by (12:00AM EST) on March 22. If your 250 words ends in the middle of a sentence, please go to the end of the sentence. All entries submitted before the cut off time will be considered. The first round will be judged by a chosen panel of your peers (agented and unagented). We’ll pick the best 20 entries and post them on my blog by March 24. The 20 entries we pick will be judged by Natalie. The winners will be announced on or before Monday, March 28.

Bet you’re wondering what prizes Natalie is offering, right? Well, here they are:
1st place – a critique of the first 20 pages
2nd place – a critique of the first 10 pages
3rd place – a query critique

For more information (or to sign up!) please visit: Brenda Drake Writes…  

RTW: Peas in a Pod

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Road Trip Wednesday is a “Blog Carnival,” where YA Highway’s contributors post a weekly writing- or reading-related question and answer it on their blogs. You can hop from destination to destination and get everybody’s unique take on the topic.

This Week’s Topic: Who (from real life) have you written into a book?

In the manuscript I’m currently querying, Where Poppies Bloom, Callie is sent to Oregon for the summer to help her Aunt Lucy renovate an old Victorian into a B&B. Aunt Lucy is the type of person who tells it like it is. She’s sort of eccentric, easily distracted, and nosy. Under stress, she becomes anxious. She’s an excellent cook and is really into 1980s fashion and music. In my head, Aunt Lucy looks something like Debra Messing on one of her wild, curly-haired days.

That said, please meet the inspiration for Callie’s Aunt Lucy:

My first baby, Lucy 'Pup'perman

That’s right. Fictional Aunt Lucy is based heavily on my dog, also called Lucy. They share similar characteristics: My Lucy is unpredictable, in-your-face, and a bit neurotic. Though she’s never voiced a particular taste in music, I get the impression she’s totally into Bon Jovi and Motley Crue. She doesn’t cook, but she’s passionate about peanut butter and bacon. And hello?! She’s a redhead!

What about you? Have you ever based a character on a “person” from your real life? And don’t forget to stop by YA Highway to see how everyone else responded!

Cutting Words…

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I’ve been mentally MIA for the last eight days. Why? I’ve been up to my eyeballs in a fairly significant revision of my manuscript, Where Poppies Bloom. Without getting into all the details, someone recently advised that I cut back the length of my manuscript (originally around 86K), which would, obviously,  pick up the pace. Fifty-ish pages, she recommended. That’s somewhere around 11K words, incase you’re counting.


I’ll admit that it sounded impossible at first. I didn’t think Poppies was dragging. I didn’t think it was wordy or over-written. And my scenes! All the beautiful scenes I’d spent hours planning and writing and editing… some of them were going to have to go. Heartbreaking, I tell you! But, the more I considered it, the more I started to look at this revision opportunity as an interesting sort of challenge.  

So, I copied and pasted the entire 328 page story into a new document and went to work. I figured if I could cut at average of ten useless words per page, I’d be a third of the way to my goal even before chopping full scenes. In an effort to keep myself from becoming completely overwhelmed, I focused on that and dove in.

As I read (and cut), read (and cut), I became very, very critical. Unnecessary dialogue tags were first to go. Next, too-detailed descriptions, then over-expressed emotions. I deleted instances of telling when I’d already shown (I do that sometimes… apparently I worry about being thorough). Finally, I trimmed the beginnings and endings of character conversations in an effort to get to the meat of what was really being said.

When that was all said and done, I took a long, hard look at my scene outline. I figured out which scenes could be deleted entirely (honestly, there weren’t many), which scenes could be combined to streamline the story, and which scenes could become a quick paragraph of exposition. Then I went back to work.

When it was all said and done, I’d trimmed just over 11K words (49 pages) from Where Poppies Bloom. I’m currently three-quarters of the way into a final read through, just to make sure everything still flows, and I have to be honest: I’ve never loved this story as much as I do today. While it was in great shape before, it’s SO clean now. It moves quickly and the suspense is that much greater. I truly believe the revision I once thought was impossible might be the greatest thing to happen to this story, and I’m so glad I took on the challenge.

Care to share your most helpful hints for trimming word count?

RTW: Bring Your Blurb

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Road Trip Wednesday is a ‘Blog Carnival, where YA Highway’s contributors post a weekly writing- or reading-related question and answer it on their blogs. You can hop from destination to destination and get everybody’s unique take on the topic.

This week’s topic: Blurb it! Write a blurb for your favorite book or your own work.

This is way hard! Maybe because I feel like I’m totally tooting my own horn. But if I can’t say wonderful things about my story, then why would anyone else bother? Right? So, I’m opting to share the blurb from the story I’m currently querying, Where Poppies Bloom. I came up with a one-line pitch before ever I began to write the story, which turned out to be quite helpful in keeping myself on track while writing, and while crafting my blurb. Here’s the original one-line pitch:

 A guilt-ridden girl chooses between life with the golden boy who dulls her pain, or eternal escape with the ghost who holds secrets of his own.

From there, I expanded to a three-line pitch, which I’m also going to use as my blurb. My CPs helped a lot here. I tend to err on the wordy side, and so many aspects of the story felt important enough to include. It was difficult to condense, but eventually we came up with this:

Drowning in guilt that stems from her younger sister’s tragic death, seventeen-year-old Callie Ryan travels to the Oregon coast to spend the summer with her aunt. Cheerful yard boy, Tucker Morgan, manages to resurrect a glimmer of the girl Callie used to be, but she also finds unlikely companionship in mysterious Nathan Stewart, the dark and ethereal ghost bound to her aunt’s house. When Callie discovers a chilling, decades-old connection between Tucker and Nathan, she must choose between life with the golden boy who dulls her pain, and eternal escape with the ghost who may harbor sinister motivations.

I spent forever working on my full query blurb. My CPs were extremely helpful with this phase as well, and I revised those two little paragraphs more times than I care to recall. I’ve had some decent success with my query, and I’m currently waiting to hear back on several requests. If you’re curious about my query blurb, you can find it in the sidebar.

As far as a cover blurb? One word:

“Unput-downable!”

Don’t forget to stop by YA Highway to check out all the other fabulous blurbs.

RTW: Favorite Lines

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Road Trip Wednesday is a “Blog Carnival,” where YA Highway’s contributors post a weekly writing- or reading-related question and answer it on their blogs. You can hop from destination to destination and get everybody’s unique take on the topic.

This week’s topic:  What is your favorite line from your WIP (or from a book you read recently)?

Oh, how to choose? I have lots of favorite lines from the WIP I’m currently querying, Where Poppies Bloom. Wait–is that egotistical? I mean, I have to love the lines in my WIP, otherwise I’d delete them and try again (and again and again), right?

First, here’s a little summary: Drowning in guilt that stems from her younger sister’s tragic death, seventeen-year-old Callie Ryan travels to the Oregon coast to spend the summer with her aunt. Cheerful yard boy, Tucker Morgan, manages to resurrect a glimmer of the girl Callie used to be, but she also finds unlikely companionship in mysterious Nathan Stewart, the dark and ethereal ghost bound to her aunt’s house. When Callie discovers a chilling, decades-old connection between Tucker and Nathan, she must choose between life with the golden boy who dulls her pain, and eternal escape with the ghost who may harbor sinister motivations.

And here are a few of my favorite lines:

            “You’re beautiful,” he says without a hint of embarrassment. “And you seem… sad.”

            Mystified, I choose to ignore both of his assessments. “How come I couldn’t see you those other times?”

            “Because I didn’t want you to. It’s the difference between a whisper and a shout. Just as you won’t hear me if I don’t want you to, you won’t see me unless I let you.”

            “But I can feel you.”

*****

             There is one thing I’m sure of, and it’s dreadfully selfish: I want Tucker to kiss me. The spark of life I normally feel in his presence was multiplied by a thousand with his innocent kiss on the beach earlier. I can’t stop wondering what it would feel like if we really kissed. If I’d spontaneously combust with the emotional high of it all.

*****

            He presses his lips to mine. “This is good, Callie,” he says, serious now. “You and me? We’re good together.”

            There’s no denying that. I nod, reveling in the sensation of his finger tracing the lines of my face. The slope of my nose, the bow of my upper lip, the curve of my cheek. I watch his eyes as they follow the path of his finger, his expression adoring.

            “Tell me you feel it too,” he whispers.

*****

            It’s something like sinking, being sucked into a black hole of misery and guilt, only I’m not alone. I have a companion in Nathan. When his dark, sad eyes meet mine, it’s as if we’re inexplicably linked. Nobody can break that bond. Nobody but Tucker, who is Nathan’s direct opposite. If Nathan is a black hole, Tucker is the brightest of stars, twinkling incessantly, leading me home. 

What about you? Any favorite lines from your WIP? Your favorite books?

New Year, New Phase

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First of all, Happy New Year! Somehow I flaked on posting a friendly New Year message, but please know, I wish you nothing but the best in 2011.  

Second, I’ve just started querying again. Weirdly enough, I feel excited about it. Before I get into all that though, let me update you on my last querying effort.

It began last July, after I’d written, revised (and revised again) Loving Max Holden. I’ll be the first to admit, MAX  is what most would refer to as a “quiet book.” It’s about relationships and growing up and finding yourself. It’s not hooky or high concept. Still, it garnered several partial requests from some pretty fabulous agents, and even some full requests after that. Then the responses started to come in. I got a lot of “tremendous writing!” and “this flows so well!” and “you are so talented!” BUT that positive stuff was always followed up with something along the lines of “unfortunately, this isn’t right for the competitive market.”

So, I absorbed that (and complained about it, initially) until the light bulb in my head flickered on. I needed to write something bigger. Something that might be more appealing, easier to hook agents, and (hopefully) eventually editors. I thought hard about what I wanted to write throughout August until I started to flesh an idea out. A ghost story. A ghost story that was a flying leap out of my very contemporary comfort zone.

Still, I sat down to begin writing at the beginning of September and spent the next two months typing away, alternately thinking this WIP was the most amazing thing ever, and also the most moronic. I think my CPs thought I was nutty every time I talked to them about it. When I finished, I put it aside for several weeks, then read over it again and ended up kind of loving it. What I’m now calling Where Poppies Bloom needed some work, of course, but when my writing mentor and CPs finally read it, they kind of loved it too.

Now, I’ve taken their feedback to the manuscript and incorporated their thoughts and brilliant ideas, and this baby is finally ready to go.  I sent a few queries out this morning, and I feel cautiously optimistic about responses. In fact, I’ve already started checking my inbox obsessively. (What? I’m not the only one who does this, right?)

And in case you’re wondering, I haven’t given up on MAX just yet.  Thanks to one of my genius CPs, I’ve some ideas about how I might be able to rewrite that story in a way that’s bigger. The only problem is, I can’t decide if I want to tackle that next, or begin something completely new…

Teaser Tuesday! Well, sort of…

So, today is a big day in my little writing world:

I typed THE END at the bottom of my WIP, Where Poppies Bloom!

Eighty-five thousand words in just under three months. Whew! I can’t tell you how excited I am to be done with the first draft of this story. It’s become a labor of love, a leap out of my comfort zone, the bane of my existence and also the favorite of  any writing project I’ve ever worked on. All that, and I haven’t even started revisions yet!

The good news is, I’m a revisions kind of girl. The drafting part is SO HARD! Shining a story up, three dimensionalizing characters, tightening arcs, contemplating word choice, deleting bits and adding new ones, rearranging paragraphs, playing with sentence structure… this is the stuff of the writing process I love. (Interestingly, the lovely Mindi Scott wrote an insightful post about writers’ love/hate relationship with writing this week. You should check it out!)

Anyway, in celebration of the completion of WIP’s first draft, I’m teasing you with the last few lines. Don’t worry–they don’t give much away. 🙂

            He pulls me forward, up and out of my chair and into his lap. His arms come around me, enveloping me in warmth and the fresh sunshine scent I’ll forever associate with him. Leaning in close to my ear, he whispers, “Remember when I told you Bell Cove was the shit?”

            I nod, my skin breaking out in shivers.

            “It’s true, right?”

            I look him straight in the eye, a smile teasing my mouth. “Only because you’re here.”

            He laughs and leans in to kiss me again.

            This time, I meet him halfway.

Repetition

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It can be a good thing, definitely, but repetition is also one of my biggest pet peeves when reading. By repetition, I mean using the same word or phrase repeatedly, until it begins to stick out like a blinking light on the page, distracting the reader. Let me give you an example:

Last month I read a YA novel I really enjoyed. It was extremely well plotted, its characters were three dimensional, and the writing was spot on. BUT the author used the word stark (or starkly) like, three billion times. The first time I came across it I thought, Ooh, perfect word choice there. That’s exactly the way I pictured his expression: sort of bleak and barren. Then I encountered it again. And again. And again.  So many times that I was completely pulled out of the novel and ended up wondering why no one (the author, CPs, betas, editors) caught it, instead of focusing on the story itself. 

In another book I recently read, a supporting character asked the protagonist “Are you okay?” or “Are you all right?” in almost every scene. Literally. And again, every time I came across one of those phrases, I kind of rolled my eyes, distracted, and then begrudgingly moved on.  In another contemporary YA I loved, the characters seemed to “shrug happily” a heck of a lot. In yet another, an author used the same sentence structure over and over, a lot like, Typing furiously, she wrote the blog post.

Here’s the thing: I am so guilty of repetition in early drafts. I’ve been reading over bits of my WIP, Where Poppies Bloom, and have found the word gentle more times than I care to admit. I’m leaning on the phrase “His/her voice was…” too. The thing is, I’m aware of the problem and intend to tackle it in revisions. While revising, I’ll probably find dozens more words that need to be changed or cut or improved upon. And I know the fabulous people who will eventually critique my manuscript will do their best to point out any repetition they find too.  

 I know it sounds sort of nit-picky (and I’m nothing if not nit-picky :)), but I think it’s SO important for an author to be invisible. I don’t want to think about his or her writing and editing processes while I’m trying to enjoy the book. I want to lose myself in their world, be completely immersed, not distracted by echoes that travel the pages of the novel. It’s easy to fall back on a few comfortable words or phrases, especially early in the process. I think it’s fine to go with whatever comes while you’re drafting , but I also think it’s important to carefully consider your words later in the game.

So, please tell me I’m not the only person this bugs. Do you notice repetition? Do you have any examples that make you want to pull your hair out?

Sadly, our vacation is over, but here's one last picture of my Cutie Pie and me in Arizona.