Okay, so, I’m querying. And I’m going crazy. Every time I see a new email in my inbox I get a sick feeling in my stomach, something between excitement, nervousness, dread and hopefulness. I’m constantly hopping between optimism and preparing myself for the worst. My husband and other family members are continuously telling me, “Chill out. It will happen!” Yeah, that’s easier said than done when you’re so deep into this process of putting your work out there for others to judge and, in many cases, turn down. Crazy-inducing as it is, rejection is a big part of the querying and eventual publication process.
I share the following story because hopefully I’m not the only person whose subconscious tortures them while they’re trying to sleep. The other night I had a querying nightmare. In this nightmare, I got an email from an agent who’d read my manuscript. Her note wasn’t exactly a rejection, but it definitely wasn’t an offer of representation either. It was merely a list of typos she’d found in the manuscript. Tons of them. My misspelling on the left, and her corrections on the right. How humiliating! I woke up with my stomach turning somersaults. The first thing I did was check my email to make sure the dream wasn’t some weird glimpse of the future, then I spent the rest of the day second-guessing all of the requested material I’ve sent in. Let me say, my manuscript is NOT riddled with typos. And I’ve never gotten an email from an agent that wasn’t gracious and complimentary. But still.
When I told one of my CPs about my dream, she laughed and said, “Oh, you are so in the trenches.”
Yes. Yes, I am.
Anyone else in the trenches? Crazy behavior? How do you deal?