Pity Party

I’m throwing myself one, here and now.

While I try to keep the tone of this blog generally upbeat, I’ve been feeling very blah lately. My blahs, I think, stem from a few different catalysts. May I elaborate?

One, news I’ve been anxiously awaiting pretty much the entire summer finally trickled in and… it was not great. Two, I’m smack in the middle of a revision that, while necessary (and awesome), is giving me more than its fair share of fits. Three, my daughter is in school now, all day, every day, and despite the much-needed additional work time, I’m a little lonely. Four, I can’t for the life of me get into a book. I’ve been picking up and putting down the same two for a week-and-a-half, and neither of them will hold my attention. And five, the winding down of summer… Eh. I’m a fun-in-the-sun girl, and I always feel a little down when the weather starts to turn.

Transition and change and the unpredictable can be tough, and lately I feel like I’m seeing A LOT of all three.

So, yeah. Boo hoo.

The good news is: I’m not alone! Posts throughout the blogosphere have cemented that over the last week, particularly this one from Caroline Richmond, and this one from Christa Desir. My writing friends make me feel normal, and for that I’m grateful.

In that spirit, I invite you to join my pity party. It’s right here, right now, and since you can’t bring brownies or Bud Light, I welcome you to leave a gripe (big or small, important or insignificant) in the comments . We can all take a few moments to wallow together, and then we can let our crap go and move onward, toward a better week. A happier week!

So, what are you bringing to my pity party?

Admittedly, it’s hard to be *too* grouchy when I get to spend afternoons laughing with this girlie.


62 thoughts on “Pity Party

  1. Elodie says:

    Adorable picture, Katy! Sorry to hear that you’ve got not-so-great-news!
    I will have some wine and join you πŸ˜€ I need more time and I need to live closer to the train station and I need more certainty. There. Those are usually my gripes…

    • katyupperman says:

      I’m with you on needing more time. I get up at five and stay up until ten or eleven, and I STILL don’t get everything done that I want to. Why can’t days be thirty hours instead of only twenty-four?

      Thanks for joining in my pity party, Elodie. Hearing from you definitely brings brightness to my day!

  2. Becky says:

    A little pity party is exactly what I need right now! Recently I just cannot find the motivation to work. Some days I breeze through a few chapters, other days I struggle even to look at it. (I’ve been sitting here putting it off for an hour already.) Come back motivation!

    • katyupperman says:

      I’m lacking motivation too, which is unfortunate because I have PLENTY of work to do. Thanks for joining in on my pity party, and good luck finding your writing mojo. πŸ™‚

  3. Alison Miller says:

    I’m sending you SUPER HUGE hugs. And I’m shipping out some wine. And an email. Oh, Katy! I am sorry things are not so happy right now. And I know how hard it is to look for that silver lining so I’m not even going to point you in that direction. I will just say this: have the pity party. And don’t feel bad about throwing it. Allow yourself to feel sad, frustrated, and disappointed. I’m here if you need me.

    Also, I’m bringing my first day of work to the pity party. BLAH.

    PS – I gave you a shout out on my blog. It might make you feel slightly better. πŸ™‚

    • katyupperman says:

      Your blog shout out TOTALLY made me feel better. You’re the best, lady! Your advice is fantastic; I’m only allowing myself to wallow for a bit, and then I’m going to put on my big girl panties and get my shit together and get back to work. Thanks for joining in on my pity party, and for contributing your first day of work bit to the extravaganza. Here’s hoping that first day turns out WONDERFUL, because you deserve it! ❀

  4. kford2007 says:

    Sending big, big hugs your way. I’m having a pity party, too. I can’t seem to edit my novel fast enough, I’m worn out from doing housework, I’ve been out of a job for 2 1/2 years and I’m officially out of money. My youngest is a senior in high school this year. Pretty soon, the last bird will fly from the nest. My husband is disabled, making me the solitary breadwinner, caretaker and maid. Ugh. I could go on, but why? I have to focus on the good right? I have a great lead on a job. The edits I’ve made on my book have been really good. I love my hubby, and at least I have 9 more months with my youngest at home before he sprouts wings. Still…I agree with Alison. Sometimes we just have to feel what we feel.

    Sorry about your bad news. I hope your hubby isn’t getting deployed. That would suck. Sending bunches of prayers your way. Just know we’re always here for you and you can have a pity party whenever you want. Give the wee turtle big hugs. She’s precious.

    • katyupperman says:

      Ugh… You’ve totally earned a spot at my pity party, though I’m sorry to say it. Love that you’re able to see the silver lining in all the challenges, though, because without a mostly positive attitude, I can see how you’d become overwhelmed. Fingers crossed that your week is wonderful and that your year shapes up to something fantastic. Good luck with all of the editing and the empty nest. I’ll be thinking of you! πŸ™‚

  5. Meredith says:

    I’m sorry, Katy. News that is not great is a real bummer, especially when you’ve been anticipating it for so long. It can really drag down your mood. I feel ya.

    And I can totally join in your pity party. My August so far has been … frustrating (to say the least).

    • katyupperman says:

      Sorry, Meredith! My August has been similar. I feel like all I do is bitch to my husband… Poor guy. While I’m glad to know I’m not alone, I’m sorry to hear that so many of my writing buddies are sharing in the blahs. I hope the rest of your month vastly improves! I’ll be thinking of you (and also enjoying your Instagram pictures of your adorable girl!).

  6. Suzi says:

    I am excited to join your pity party cause I too will be an empty nester. Okay, not quite, but my youngest is starting kindergarten in a week. I am so ready for the quiet around the house, but in a way, I’ll probably miss it too.

    I’ll bring the mini-M&M cookies sitting on my counter to the party. Our grocery store has the best cookies ever. Soft and yummy. It’s hard to stop at one. In fact, I may have to go buy more because there might not be many left. πŸ™‚

    • katyupperman says:

      Ah, the Kindergarten blues… I can TOTALLY relate. It’s hard for us mommies! And yeah… You’re welcome anytime, ESPECIALLY if you’re bringing M&M cookies. πŸ™‚

  7. Dana says:

    I want to join! Let’s see, my son will be starting kindergarten soon, and I’m having a horrible time accepting that fact. I cry randomly and often, which makes for some embarrassing trips to the grocery store, storytime, etc. And yesterday, I celebrated a milestone birthday that leaves me feeling a little unhappy, strange, disoriented…one of those. So yes, I’m happy to join your party. πŸ™‚

    *Hugs* to you and a better week for all of us!

    • katyupperman says:

      Another Kindergarten mommy! Glad to have you at my pity party. πŸ™‚ And hello… HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Dana! For your birthday, I’m giving you… A really great week. πŸ™‚

  8. Temre Beltz says:

    Oh, Katy, I am sending BIG hugs to you. And I will take those hugs (my biggest ones) and a giant jar of nutella to your party. I will also bring my words of deepest thanks because one of the best parts of my summer has been meeting YOU. Really. You are my very first writing friend, you will always be my very first writing friend. And for a sometimes insecure and worrying newbie that sort of thing is invaluable. So I plan on being at ALL of your parties – pity parties and the big super star celebration ones and the ones for no reason at all except just to have fun and dance to Taylor Swift songs. Consider this my RSVP for always πŸ™‚ Love you, Katy <3<3

    • katyupperman says:

      Nutella! Feeling better already. πŸ™‚ You are too sweet, Temre, and reading your comment and email improved my day and my mood tenfold. And I’m hoping that next time I have a party, it will be one of those big super star celebration kinds (for me or for you, doesn’t matter!). You’re the best, and I’m infinitely thankful for your friendship. ❀

  9. Kristine C. Asselin (@KristineAsselin) says:

    Oh, I wish I could buy you a cup of coffee and chat! I’m sure the bad news will turn around at some point. The kid in school thing will definitely turn around at some point. πŸ™‚ Have some chocolate, and wallow…but not for too long. Give me a call if you want to talk!

    • katyupperman says:

      Thanks so much, Kris. I’ll shoot you an email today and fill you in bit. I always feel better after commiserating with my writing buddies. Though, I’d much rather share a cup of coffee in person. Hope you have a great week, lady! πŸ™‚

  10. Rebecca B says:

    I’m showing up to the pity party with a pitcher of margaritas. So sorry you’re having a tough time! I’m working on an outline for a new project and I’m terrified. The last first draft I wrote, and spent months and months on, is in a drawer (and I’m still very upset about that). That’s making me all weird and insecure about starting something new. Also, after I took almost 2 months off this summer–I’m kind of in a lazy state of mind now.

    Anyway, sending hugs. I hope you get some awesome news this week!

    • katyupperman says:

      Margaritas for everyone!

      And yeah… manuscripts in a drawer. *sad face* So hard because you’ve worked so hard and become so attached, but at the same time you KNOW there’s a reason it has to go in the drawer. Why does writing have to be so hard?!

      Good luck on the new outline and the new project, Rebecca. I’m starting something new after this revision, so I’ll be muddling right along with ya. πŸ™‚

  11. Jennifer Pickrell says:

    Wow, I so need this – I had my own solo pity party this weekend! The stress of my unwanted move earlier this summer, coupled with a bad review at work (with no explanation as to what I did wrong) when my contract is set to be renewed/not in 3 weeks and I am the household breadwinner…ugh, I’m bringing chocolate cake topped with bacon to this pity party!

    • katyupperman says:

      Boo. Sorry you have to join in on the pity party, but I’m SO HAPPY to have you. Chocolate cake all around! (And what is up with your job? That sounds sketchy and frustrating. Fingers crossed that it all works out and that your contract is renewed without problem.) Hugs, Jennifer! ❀

  12. Jaime Morrow says:

    You are so not alone, Katy. I sure hope things start looking up for you. It’s tough dealing with the ‘mehs’. In the meantime, just keep snagging hugs from that little cutie in the picture and that should help. πŸ™‚

    Here’s what I have to bring: constant breathing/heart/numbness in my limbs issues these days, a query that I can’t seem to get right, a WiP that I’m still not happy with and that I have zero motivation to work on, a relative/friend who is slowly sucking the life out of me… And now that I’ve unloaded, hopefully I can leave it all behind. I’m a dweller, so that’s unlikely, but here’s hopin’. πŸ™‚

    • katyupperman says:

      Ugh, Jaime… You have most definitely earned a place at my pity party. I’m so sorry you’re struggling with all of this. Email any time if you want to gripe further, or if you’d like a second opinion on your query. I’m certainly no expert, but I’d be happy lend my opinion. Maybe that’ll take a tiny bit of the stress off your plate.

      You’re definitely not alone, Jaime. I’ll be thinking of you and hoping that things slowly improve. Hopefully our respective writing mojos will resurface at the same time. πŸ™‚

  13. Amie Kaufman (@AmieKaufman) says:

    Okay, my first gripe is that I can’t bring brownies. What do you mean I can’t bring brownies?

    My second is that I am pretty sure I wouldn’t have enough time right now if my days had 25 hours in them. Or 35, to be honest. I am one tired girl.

    I think I’m going to comfort myself by eating Jennifer’s chocolate topped with bacon πŸ˜‰

    • katyupperman says:

      Seriously… why can’t our days be longer?! I’m fine with minimal sleep, but even functioning on five hours, I STILL can’t get to the bottom of my To-Do list. Glad your joining in on my pity party, and you can bring ANYTHING that involves chocolate. πŸ™‚

  14. Zanne says:

    Hope things start to look better for you soon! I’m throwing myself a pity party too. I’ll spare you and only leave one gripe. I’m moving this Saturday. I don’t want to move! I love my apartment and the location. My new commute is going to suck. Also, my roommate pretty much told me that she’s going to lose touch with me now that we are moving out, and that makes me sad.

    Also, I’ve been so busy with the new job and preparing for this move, that I haven’t even thought about writing in weeks. Hopefully that will change after I move.

    • katyupperman says:

      Aah! Moving is so tough! Fingers crossed that it’s not too torturous for you. And I hope your writing motivation resurfaces soon… I need to find mine too! Glad to have you at my pity party, Zanne. πŸ™‚

  15. Erin Bowman (@erin_bowman) says:

    Sending you hugs and cupcakes, Katy!! I know that pang of lonliness all too well. When the week hits and the Hubby goes to work, I should be all excited that it’s finally quiet and I can relax, but I end up feeling very alone. And I have had the SAME EXACT PROBLEM re: reading. I kept picking things up only to put them down. Book burnout depresses me more than anything because I love reading! Not being able to get into a book feels like the worst sort of crime. (This may be why I finally decided to re-read the Harry Potter series…Something nostalgic that I know and love and can just enjoy.)

    Anyway, I hope things turn around soon! Oh, and I suggest working from coffee shops to beat the loneliness. (It helps just having others around you, even if you’re not talking to them.)

    • katyupperman says:

      I’m totally going to start working at coffee shops this week. One: so I’m not all alone, and two: so I’m not tempted to snack ALL DAY while I attempt to revise/write/edit. And what is with this reading slump we’re experiencing? This NEVER happens to me, but man… I just canNOT get into anything. It’s seriously depressing. I’d rather surf Pinterest than read. So wrong!

      Thanks for your kind words and encouragement, Erin. Love from my writing friends is the best medicine. πŸ™‚

  16. Juliana Haygert says:

    Oh, you’re definitely not alone. I’ve been feeling very blah lately …
    Let’s throw a huge twitter pity party! It’ll make us feel better πŸ˜‰

  17. lydiaykang says:

    I’m bringing fondue. Because everything is better with fondue. You wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t have off days, or weeks, or months when it comes to writing.

    • katyupperman says:

      Oh my gosh… Fondue! Cheese or chocolate = YUM! Thanks, Lydia. You’re so right: Sometimes things are just crappy. If they weren’t, I suppose we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the really great days!

  18. Ghenet Myrthil says:

    I’m sorry to hear you’ve been feeling blah. This happens to me all the time. BIG HUG and I hope this funk ends ASAP! In the meantime, maybe pick up a different book you know will hook you? How about a re-read of ANNA & THE FRENCH KISS? That always makes me smile. πŸ™‚

  19. Erin L. Schneider says:

    Awwww, sending you BIG hugs, Katy! So sorry to hear you’ve had a tough go lately. We’ve all been there, my friend. So lean on our shoulders, I’ll bring some wine and chocolate, and we’ll move on to better times together!

    Keep your spirits up, Katy – it will get better soon.

    • katyupperman says:

      Thanks so much, Erin! Wine + Chocolate = Perfection. πŸ™‚

      Hope all is well with you… You’ll have to email me an update on your manuscript soon. I’ve been thinking about you a lot!

  20. Jessica Love (@_JessicaLove) says:

    I’m pulling up a chair to the pity party, and I’m bringing a case of Bud Light with me. Care to help me out with it? πŸ˜‰

    I just really need more time. I’m starting this new job where I’ll have even more students than I did and things are completely different. I’m also in my first semester of grad school and trying to get through this draft…I just don’t know how to do it all. I need to be able to stop time and get thing done.

    Sorry you got bad news, but I have every confidence that things will turn around for you soon! πŸ˜€

    • katyupperman says:

      Bud Light… YES, PLEASE!

      I’ve been thinking about you and your new job often, Jess, and I’m hoping it’s as fantastic as (or even better than!) the job you loved last year. And I’m so with you on the time thing. Why is it that no matter how early I’m awake in the morning or how late I stay up at night, there’s just never enough?

  21. char says:

    I bring pity from my poor checkbook. It’s being demolished from school registration fees for high school and jr high. Ick! Boo hoo! I liked that money…but now it’s gone! And I haven’t even got the tuition and housing notices from my 2 in college yet. I’d like to hide and not be found by anything resembling a ‘school.’

  22. Stephanie Allen says:

    I’m adding hugs to everyone else’s, and will even offer to share some of my precious supply of Alaskan Amber (which, my roommates will tell you, NEVER, EVER HAPPENS).

    Hmm, what else will I bring to the pity party? Well, I’m currently sitting in my room, eating Oreos, and waiting to hear back from the retail job I interviewed for last week while trying to motivate myself to apply for another one. Meanwhile, I’m stalking local school districts, trying to figure out how to substitute teach for them – I even turned in paperwork for one – but most of them are still pulling the whole “we don’t need anyone right now” thing. And then, on top of that, I have several friends who just got teaching jobs, so now I get to see them talking about it, and posting pictures of their new classrooms, and whatever. And, I mean, I’m excited for them, but mostly there’s that part of me that’s trying not to stress out too much about not being able to find a job before my savings are gone, and then having to move back in with my parents.

    OKAY. I’ve let myself be negative. I’ll go back to the rainbows and sunshine now. Here. Have some Oreos.

    • katyupperman says:

      Alaskan Amber… Yes, please! And Steph, I think you’ve very easily earned your invitation to my pity party. Sounds like you’ve got plenty of legit reasons to be stressed, but I hope things pan out so positively that in a few months you’ll look back at this time and think: Why was I ever worried? For now, enjoy your Oreos and keep hounding those school districts… They’ll be lucky to have you!

  23. katharineowens says:

    YES! I am feeling it, and I have heard from several friends lately (both in and out of the writing world) who are, too. My post today is kind of in response to my frustration as I accept that my dystopian is never going to go anywhere. I don’t even have the heart to query it. Then I pushed on through and tried to make something out of it that would make me happy. So I’m bringing my Playmobil guys to the pity party. And we’re going to rock it out.

    • katyupperman says:

      Can’t wait to read your post, Kat, though I’m sorry if it’s in the same BLAH tone as mine. What is it with this month? I know lots of people feeling the same way too. Such a bummer! I want my pals to be happy and stress free, fully able to rock it out with your Playmobil guys. πŸ™‚ Here’s to happier days in our futures!

  24. Jolene Perry says:

    That is all.
    Whew. I feel so much better πŸ˜€
    (PS – I wanna read your ghost story…)

    • katyupperman says:

      So glad you got that off your chest, Jolene! πŸ™‚ And, thank you for mentioning my ghost story… You have no idea how happy that comment makes me. Oh, um, I might actually take you up on your offer to read, but I have a contemp that’s going to need a fresh perspective after a revision. Up for it?

  25. Alexandra Shostak says:

    I bring with me the manuscript that REFUSES to lie down and just SUBMIT to my revisions. If I may use a Dexter metaphor: it’s the freaking huge guy Dexter tried to kill, but didn’t use enough tranquilizer, so the guy woke up too early and got away. That guy is my manuscript.

  26. Caroline Richmond says:

    I WANT TO JOIN THIS PITY PARTY!!! Where is the wine?!

    First, *HUGS* I know how you feel! Lately, I’ve kind of been feeling stuck in regards to writing. Like, everyone is shuffling around me while I’m just…here. In the same place. Treading water. BLERGH!

    Secondly, I’m so sorry about your bad news! *MOAR HUGS* Bad news sucks and you totally deserve a big chocolate bar plus a glass of wine!

    But, hopefully, this “phase of blah” will soon disappear from our lives! In fact, I know it will. πŸ™‚

    Anyway, thanks for the shout-out, Katy; and thanks so much for offering hope and support to me and many other YA writers!

    • katyupperman says:

      I’m sure you’re right: These “phases of blah” do have a way of passing and being replaced by happier times… Thank goodness! And treading water is the perfect way to describe the place I’m at. Silver lining? Treading water is MUCH better than sinking.

      Thanks, Caroline!

  27. Nicole Mc says:

    So sorry to hear this, and I definitely can relate. Sometimes my funk seems to have no catalyst…that’s the worst. I think maybe just being a woman and a mother can take our emotions to weird places. Add on being a writer, a job filled with anticipation-rejection-etc, and it can be a perfect storm for the blues. It will pass! Just keep snuggling with your girl when she’s home, and eat something yummy! πŸ™‚ Oh…and some “grown-up” time (wink), with hubby sometimes helps!! LOL

    • katyupperman says:

      Oh my goodness! This comment made me laugh out loud, which is just so perfect. Thanks, Nicole. I’ll definitely eat something yummy, and maybe partake in some of that… other stuff, too. πŸ˜‰

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